I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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