i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
