oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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