question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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