Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
