Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
