so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize