Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
