I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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