I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
