So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
