Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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