Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
