We tried having a conversation with our noses.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
