my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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