It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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