this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
