Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize