There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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