Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
