He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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