At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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