we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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