put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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