OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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