Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
