ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
