I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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