She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize