The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
