Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
