don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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