she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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