i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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