do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
