So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
