I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is it because I queefed?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
