so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
