This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
