Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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