I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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