I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
In America we eat man semen.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
