At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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