Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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