I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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