all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
