That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
