I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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