you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
