One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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