I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
