It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
