Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
