Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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