Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
