At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
