3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
