i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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