It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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