i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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