Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
