Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
so much tequila, so little girl.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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