yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
