We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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