I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
